Resolutions

Of the Dexter variety:

1. Grow some teeth
2. Hold on to stuff
3. Drool more
4. Take some steps
5. Have more meaningful conversations with Daddy:

The Great Sleep-In

Last night he ate at 9:30, fell asleep at midnight, and woke up at 5am to eat more. He fell back asleep and it's 10am right now and I don't hear a peep from that room. I'm waiting until the last minute to wake Steve so he can get a nice nap in since he's off tonight.

Things are screwy, we're getting kicked out of the apartment, and subsequently moving to Steve's mom's house. I'm so glad. I baked most of my holiday cookies over there and it's nice dammit. Plus, she's another in the camp of "Steve's dad is crazy so don't mind him when he says you're not raising your son right"

It will be nice to be in a place where I can help my son through crying fits without worrying what Steve's dad has told the neighbors about me and worrying what they'll think because of it.

It will be nice to live with adults who clean up after themselves. We'll have half the space, but it's going to be sooo much better.

I got a bunch of clothes for Dexter yesterday. A friend of mine from high school dropped off the clothes she had left from when her 5 year old was little. He grew fast like Dexter is, and he's kind of tall and lanky, so there's a lot more pants instead of sleepers. My poor little guy seems to outgrow sleepers so fast. He's all legs.

In other news, my back still hurts, and my wrist still hurts, but I think the back thing is getting better and I think the wrist thing is tendinitis. Anybody know what the cure is for that before I go trying to find a doc who'll take the medical card? I'm not wasting mine and steve's time and taking a baby to the doctors office if I only get a prescription of "wrap it up and take some advil."

Ok, so today is the blog entry of run-on sentences. sorry about that. My grammar has been lacking. I'll blame it on the hurried state of affairs of late and hope you'll all forgive me. :D

Somebody come babysit so I can start packing!

Crimmus.

This is pretty much how my Christmas went...



Just Kidding! It was more like this!

i really try my hardest not to get wrapped up in complaining about my life, because I know it can always be worse.

But gosh darnit if it isn't really crappy right now.

Bah Humbug. Thanks for not coming to my son's first christmas.

tis the season.

A) I hate the guy who will most likely become my father-in-law. I've never truly hated anyone before. I've also never had someone talk about what a bad mother I am, or called the person I love an asshole, or smoked to prove a point. When I saw that cigarette I wanted to put it out on his face. Not because he's a smoker. I know plenty of those, and they're wonderful people. I just wanted to put it out on his face because he's a close-minded jerk who doesn't deserve the son he ended up with. Here's an idea, if your son has constant ear infections (to the point of considering putting tubes in his ears) and the doc says smoking may be causing them, why not stop? Sorry. Just had to rant.

B) Steve is depressed and I don't know how to fix it. :(

C) My son has a red rash and a swollen gland behind his ear.

D) I'm too scared to ask Steve's mom if we can live with her. Although, it would be nice to tell that stupid jerk I prefer his ex-wife to him any day.

E) Dex smiles all the time, and he talks and he's getting so big. I can't wait until I really start to see his little personality and I can take him to the zoo and bake cookies for Santa and all that crap.

Merry Holidays to everyone, in case I don't get the chance to say it again before your respective ones.

Ting-a-Ling cookies are good for the soul.

I love going by my grandparents house. I keep thinking I could really live out here. We could actually afford a house down here.

But it's so far from everyone. :(

It's done me a world of good getting out of the mess up north.

Wish List

All I want for Christmas is a new place to live. :[

Steve's dad decided to smoke last night. After we all agreed that as long as Dexter lived here he wouldn't. He didn't do it because it's 15 outside, he didn't do it because his back hurt too much to stand. He did it because Dexter was crying when Steve left for work. Like usual, he asked to hold Dex when he was screaming and upset because he needed to eat. We've told him time and time again that he can hold Dex once we get him calmed down. Instead of repeating himself for the 50 millionth time, he just said "Deal with it" and Steve's dad took that as "I'll smoke a cigarette to get their attention." He actually said to Steve "I don't know why she's being a baby about ONE cigarette." Then he said that he was smoking it because we wouldn't sit and talk with him about all our crap being in the living room. Verbatim: "How does it feel to be snubbed? Ask her how she feels being snubbed?" Then he said he didn't have to ask his son if he could smoke in his own home. Then why even say you'd stop??? Why smoke, and endanger my son's life, to try and prove some stupid point?

I guess Steve said he wasn't going to see Dex if that was his tactics, because I heard his Dad say "If your Grandma never sees him before she dies then I don't have a son."

Who says that to their kid??? To the kid who supported them for the better part of the last 4 years. Oh yeah I know who would say that, the same guy who calls his kid an asshole.

I'm scared of this guy. I really want out of here, and I don't think we have any options. :[

Dr. Casa M.D.

We got the first 3 seasons of House on black friday. We started watching them today, and goddamn if they didn't have an episode where a baby died. I couldn't even finish the whole episode without curling up into a ball. When did I turn into such an extra huge wuss??? A) It's not like it happened to my baby. B) It's not like it even happened to a real baby. Heck, half the time you could tell it wasn't a real baby.

It had the guy from Trueblood. I think his name is Sam in that show.

He went to the doctor today. He weighs 12 lbs, 14 oz. He's 24.3 inches long. Apparently that puts him in the 90th percentile for length, and the 75th for weight. This means nothing to me, it's like the teacher from Peanuts is telling me things about my son. His new doctor, on the other hand, would suck as an adult to those Peanuts folks. She's wonderful, I can understand her, and she said Dex is perfect. :D

:[

I did something to my back. I don't know what, and I don't know if it's a muscle issue or a joint issue. My wrist has been hurting too. I'm just falling apart.

I went shopping on black friday for the first time ever today. It was totally not worth it. :(

the needle tears a hole

the old familiar sting.

Dex has vaccinations on Monday. He also turns 2 months old that day. I'm so very scared for him and my reactions. I about fainted when Patrick had his for kindergarten. What am I going to do when the fruit of my loins is screaming. I'm also irrationally worried about vaccine reactions. He's been sniffly and coughing too, so I'm worried having a slight cold will make the vaccine reactions worse.

Sucks to your vaccines. I wish there was some way around them.

He's serenading himself...

He coos. a lot. He also grunts, gives me weird looks, and all around kind of makes my day.

Can you guys tell he's been sleeping more? :D

Steve has a dentist appointment tomorrow. He has been a week-or-so-long-sufferer of SEVERE mouth pain. He says it comes and goes, and I say he needs to visit a dentist, especially since he has insurance and can go to a good one.

I think that Dex is officially on Steve's insurance. I'm glad. Now we don't have to wait at stupid crappy medical card doctors who call him Christiana. Seriously. :[

Also, this:
I'm sure you know which one is me, but this is me and some folks I pal'd around with circa 2000.

Yes, I do believe that is a 311 t-shirt.

Switch-er-oo

Dexter has his days and nights mixed up. I managed to bamboozle him into sleep for now, but who knows if it will last when I try to put him in his bed.

I'm definitely afraid I'm going to have to get rid of my iguana. I'm worried she's getting pushed to the back burner because we're occupied with Dex-type stuff for now. Dex-type stuff takes up a lot of my day. I apologize to anyone I was talking online to or talking on the phone to and ended up cutting the conversation short.

Dexter is up to 4 oz of formula. Depending on his mood, it now means there's 4-6 hours between feedings. Sometimes it's still every 3 hours, but he's putting more time between yelling at me to feed him and that means I'm closer to an entire night's sleep. :D

The days are passing by so fast, and I worry I'll wake up tomorrow and be 80 with no memories to show for it. I'm hoping it's because my days are broken up into 3-4 hour increments. Watching the clock has made the day go faster.

Good thought of the day: We bought the cutest xmas outfit for Dexter today, and I think I got all my xmas shopping for my nephews done! :D

Dwindling.

Money, patience, ability to accurately handle responsibility. Yeah. All dwindling.

Last night I gave him his bottle without shaking it up to mix all the formula and water together. Granted, it was 4am, and I had just woken up, but I still feel bad for basically giving him white colored water with a big ass clump of formula in it.

I need to find a new pediatrician. I need to figure out how exactly to change his formula, or if I need to. We still have 9/10 of a big ass container, plus an unopened container of the stuff he's got now. I definitely don't want him to suffer through any digestive issues, but I really don't want to waste close to $30. I wish I knew someone else who had just had a baby who gives them Enfamil. It drives me crazy, because he's only been eating this since he came out of me, and recently it's really seemed to disrupt any sense of regularity he's had. And (skip to the next paragraph if you'd rather not hear about poop) He seems really distressed the last few times he's pooped.

His pediatrician seems to not even remember him every time we see him. He called him Christian one time because of how they had Dexter's name written on his folder. Maybe I'm being picky, but if the doc doesn't even know his name, and keeps asking if I'm breastfeeding or bottle feeding, I think it's time to find someone with less of a workload or someone with a better memory.

Anyone want to come hold a baby so I can get my apartment in order?

Steve mentioned a christening to his dad a while back, and now his Dad is all hell bent on it happening before the end of the year. Is there something with catholics that makes it less holy if you're baptized after december? And anyways, my son is NOT going to be catholic. Sorry, any religion where you have to pay to get into heaven isn't for me thanks. If I knew how to have it done, I'd have him baptized non-denominationally. That way he can just pick when he gets older, and then everyone can come to a christening and enjoy it. I'm afraid Steve's dad's family won't show up unless I get him baptized catholic. I'm not catholic. My son isn't going to be catholic. Steve was baptized catholic, went to a catholic school and he just ended up being an atheist. I don't trust any religion where someone who beat on his wife or kids or stole things to buy drugs or some crap can just be forgiven because they told a priest every sunday that they "repented"

queries...

Do I really know when he's hungry, or am I just shoving a bottle in his face when nothing else works to quiet him? I wait the predesignated 3 hours between each bottle but my brother's girlfriend was saying he should be going 4 hours between bottles now. I was considering giving him more formula because he seemed hungry earlier. I think it would be hard to put him on the path of bad eating habits so early, but I worry. My eating habits are crap.

It also would be nice to have a little 4 hour nap between feedings at night. The closer we get to the goal of sleeping through the night, the better.


The problem with babies is the consensus is most often contradictory.

Ground Control to Major Mom:

My son's nose crinkles when he smiles, and somehow, that little fold of skin just kind of makes my day.

Not in Kansas anymore.

Steve and I have been fighting. Well, maybe not fighting. Maybe moreso I'm sad and complaining and he's just not acknowledging we're hitting some speed bumps. His silence is driving me nuts. I told myself when I found out I was pregnant that I'd keep it because I knew I would always be able to be an adult with him, and I'd get the same in return. I told myself that I had to love him, because he's the first guy I've been with who made me less mad the more we discussed our problems.

I've become a shut in, and he works all the time. This makes for a volatile Laurie. I want to get the hell out of the house and do things, but Steve is always worn out after work.

I shouldn't complain. He takes the baby every morning and lets me catch up on sleep. This is especially helpful since I can't seem to get tired unless it's the most inopportune time possible. He really does try when he's not so intimidated by us falling apart that he's stunned into silence.

My baby is getting fussier, and my boyfriend is working, watching sports, or sleeping.

The stroller broke and it sent me into a bit of a spiral of moodiness. Then again, it's not hard to shift me that way lately.

Top all of that with the fact that I haven't been able to focus on MT school, or my friends, or even a TV show. My attention span is locked in on freecell or solitaire. Not much else. My days have become: Feed Baby, Change Baby, Rock/Entertain Baby, and fight insomnia.

I can't believe it's been 6 weeks already and in 6 more weeks it will be the end of the year.

I started re-reading the Oz books by L Frank Baum. I haven't read them since Jr. High and it's been nostalgic and it's helped a bit. For kid books, they're really pretty good.

E!ep.

I'm addicted to Entertainment television. I sometimes wonder how long it will be until I'm Peg Bundy, knocking back bonbons like a college kid doing shots on friday night.

I actually was kind of bummed the other day that Holly isn't going to be on Girls Next Door anymore. I suppose I was really rooting for her and her octogenarian playboy.

To be fair, I change the channel a lot and there really is nothing on tv. It didn't start with my being able to sit through an entire episode of E! news. I watched true hollywood stories and talk soup. Talk Soup is my gateway drug to E!.

Yeah, there isn't much going on in my life. Lots of tv watching while rocking/feeding my son.

There's a heck of a lot I would do for CSI on DVD.

I wish it was still Halloween.

This will have to suffice.

All Hallow-ed out

Halloween was wonderful. I love our little tradition of Steve taking his vacation this time of year. He was lamenting having to go back to work today. I really wish he could find something with normal hours, that appreciates his tireless work ethic. Seriously, this guy called in once. It was because he had an eye infection and couldn't see to drive there. If he had had a ride there, he probably would've went in anyways.

Anyone know of any good jobs with decent benefits that pay around $11 an hour?

Anyways, Dexter trick or treated and we had so much fun. Then we got to be adults and go talk to other grownups. Well, sort of. I was the second oldest person there. The oldest was Ally's mom. One girl was talking about being 8 in 2000. I was 16 in 2000. :[ I guess it was just mainly shocking because before she said how old she was she was filling her large McDonalds sweet tea cup with Mike's Hard Lemonade and practically eating cigarettes.

That's just 2 years older than Patrick. I can remember wanting to do things like that when I was that age. I can only hope my son is like me and too scared to try the hard stuff. Yesterday Steve was saying he's so glad I don't really drink or smoke or anything. He said it made for one hell of a healthy son.

It was a fun party, and the beer made me miss my party days in GA with Justin. He had some wonderful friends.

Guh, this was supposed to be a decent update. It's just kind of bogging me down. I'm tired. The apartment is in stinky shambles and Steve's dad keeps leaving the front door open despite Steve telling him multiple times that the cold, while nice for him, is deadly for the iguana.

I cleaned and scrubbed the bathroom until my back hurt. I told Steve if the bathroom and kitchen weren't clean by november I was going back to my mom and dad's. I cleaned the bathroom of his dad's mess and Steve cleaned one side of the kitchen sink so I can wash Dexter's bottles, and his dad has done nothing. I haven't done anything either. There's no room at my mom and dad's and I don't really have anywhere else to go, or enough will to I suppose. Steve is wonderful and I really don't want to leave him, but I hate cleaning up after his dad just so my son can have a bath and clean bottles and not have to worry about getting some raging infection.

my mouth hurts, and I haven't had time to be able to sit and get school done. It's just kind of bumming me out.

Marathon Man, revisited

I'm feeling much better in general. Chewing is still a debacle, but I feel about 90% so maybe this guy is a really good dentist and is just into causing people pain??? I'll have to inform him I'm no Bill Murray in Little Shop of Horrors, so his efforts are better appreciated elsewhere.

My friend Krista's mom is in the medical profession, not anything having to do with dentists, but I'm sure it doesn't matter that much. Point being: She said I could sue my dentist.

Hey man, if I can get money to start us on the road to our own house, I'd do it over again!

I called to make my follow up appointment for this coming Saturday and the receptionist was so nice. I told her I didn't want to see Dr. Fischman, and she listened to my sob story and said to just come in before noon and ask to see the Head Dentist. I double checked and asked if I needed to make an appointment. She said no, so if I have trouble next week, I'll add Lisette to the list of people I've had issues with at that place. I don't think I'll have a problem though. The phrase "I don't want his hands anywhere near my mouth" is resounding and wreaks of "I'm going to sue the pants off this place"

I'm talking to a lawyer. I don't want to put this guy out of a job, especially if he has a wife and kids, but I want him to know he royally screwed up and make him think twice before letting this happen to anyone else.

Marathon Man, Anyone???

Any oral surgery sucks. It especially sucks when your insurance doesn't cover the sedative so you have to pay $400 out of pocket.

It's a whole new level of crap when you tell your dentist you don't feel sedated, and he says "Sometimes it sneaks up on you. You'll feel it in the next 20-30 minutes" and then starts the procedure then instead of waiting 20 minutes. Then, when he damn near rips your cheek off when jamming the local anesthetic needle in your mouth, and starts even though you can't breathe because you were tearing up and your nose is draining into your throat.

Oh yeah, and then, when the local anesthetic is wearing off and you try to tell him and he just says "Don't talk." Yeah, that powerful sucks.

I was screaming in pain because I could feel them ripping a tooth out of my mouth and they just said I needed to be quiet because there were people in the next room and I would scare them if they heard me.

NEVER MIND the patient on the chair in front of them. I guess I don't get the luxury of not being scared or in pain, because I'll scare the other patients.

If anyone knows of a way I can get this douchebag, let me know. In the interim, don't go to Dr. Fischman at Full Smile Family Dentist.

Howl-O-Ween-O-Rama

I thought a lot. I looked all over. I found a few likely candidates. I settled for making my son be a baked potato for Halloween. I told myself when I saw the costume for him, I'd know. Steve agreed.

Then I got a package in the mail. Well, technically two. He got a couple onesies from great grandma and grandpa, and he got a costume from Grantie Julie. It's perfect, and when I pulled it out of the box and saw it, I held it up to show Steve and said "It's his costume." Steve agreed.

So the plan is to put either the First Halloween onesie or the Ghost Face onesie from Great G & G underneath it for extra warmth. Then it's Tiger City from there on out. :D

I can't imagine anything else he could be for Halloween.

I used to be a terror but now I am a tired man.

I have so much to update, and a good chunk of time to do it in, and I have no energy with which to do it.

My son has long legs. It makes finding sleepers for him difficult. The legs will fit fine, but he'll be swimming in the body section of it. This is fine, except I worry about it bunching up in front of his face and suffocating him. It's akin to the reasoning they tell you to limit blankets and stuffed animals in the crib until the SIDS stage is over.

He goes to the doctor for his one month check up tomorrow. It's funny that he'll be a month old tomorrow, but the dates don't match up. He was born on September 24, and he's 4 weeks on October 22. I hope he gets a good review and that we're doing things right by him.

I'm sorry to have been lax in the journaling. The days slip away from me so fast now. It makes me sad. I wonder how much of this I'll remember when he's grown.

oh yeah, before I forget, I sort of solved the "what songs should I sing" dilemma. The list contains, but is not limited to:

You've Got to Hide Your Love Away- The Beatles
Big Yellow Taxi- Joni Mitchell
Inflammatory Writ- Joanna Newsom
You Are My Sunshine- Traditional (But I like the way Johnny Cash sings it.)
I'm Yours- Jason Mraz
Apple Blossom- White Stripes
Everything's Alright- Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack
Hounds of Love- Kate Bush
Do It Again- Steely Dan

yeah, you get the idea. Just songs I know by heart. There are a lot more Beatles songs on the actual playlist than I had figured. Then again, most of them are my favorites. :D

Birthday!

Happy Birthday Annie!

We're going to Chuck E Cheese so Niko can run around and play. He's going to get to meet Dexter, which he has apparently been talking about for days. I'm so excited.

Unless I'm having too much fun chasing Niko around, there will be pictures up on the picture blog once I get home.

Also: 13 days to Halloween! Spooky.

3 weeks old (as of yesterday)

Does he look any bigger? :D

Official

Officially a Mommy:
Today I talked to a pregnant friend of mine about Dexter's poop. We then thought about what it's going to be like discussing her daughter's poop. I don't know if this makes us sad or cute. I'm voting for the latter.

Officially back "home":
I washed Dexter's bottles in the bathroom sink today because the kitchen is such a mess. Lili helped us organize the frontroom. It looks so much bigger now. I can't wait to really get into all our boxes and go through and get rid of things. I wish I was still pregnant because I have a little distraction that's kept me from getting most of it done. I'll have to invite Grandma over to help coo and sing to him to distract him into sleep.

Officially missing Home:
I want to go back to my Mom's. I told Steve that if the kitchen doesn't get cleaned we have to go back there, room for us or no. I'm not washing his bottles in there. It's such a small part of the apartment, it shouldn't be that hard to keep clean, even with a bad back.

Officially Busy:
I have a Dr. appointment Thursday to check out my incision and make sure I'm not infected with the nasty wound funk. I have an appointment for a consultation with an oral surgeon next Friday and next Saturday I have an appointment to get my wisdom teeth taken out. I'm so scared and glad at the same time. It needs to happen, but I'm still wary of anything involving the word surgery. It'll be right before Steve's vacation, so I know I'll have help with the baby while I'm dealing with mouth pain. Anyone who got their wisdom teeth out have any advice for me?

It smells like birthday in here...

I love you too! I hope today is wonderful and everything you want. You deserve it.

Everyone loves a parade...

Today was the annual Fall parade, culminating in a mad dash for free pumpkins at the end. It was also Dexter's first day out in his stroller. It was so unbelievably hot outside. I don't get how it can be 80 degrees in the middle of October, but I appreciated the chance to put some clothes on him that he wouldn't have worn otherwise. He has a tank onesie on now. I had been putting him in sleepers, covered by blankets up until today.

Anyways, on to the photos:

What's a parade without Kiwanis? And Kiwanis peanuts for that matter?

My parade watching buddies, Mom and Fox

Riding in style.

Mom and Fox

Some dentists. I liked the pit bull.

Mad dash for candy. That little old lady was giving the kids a run for their money. (Or candy, as the case may be.)

The oriental band comprised of a bunch of very not oriental shriners.

He was my favorite.

Kris's friend Nick. He has that creepy clown giggle down better than anyone I've ever met.

Mom and Fox again. She had to hold him up so he could put his face in the pumpkin hole.

Fox's pumpkin.

All worn out.

Dexter also got his first bath today. Those pictures are at the picture blog.

Isn't it supposed to be cold???

When are all the bugs going to go away?

Dexter's Real Dad?

Don't tell Steve. :D

2 weeks!

Happy 2 weeks Dexter!

Steve is off tonight, so we're going to bring the baby to cvs to show my old boss Gladys. I haven't seen her since I had him. Plus, we need to get saline to help with his congestion. I hope the pharmacist Shelby is working, because I know he'd remember me and care that I had a kid, and care about seeing said kid.

In other news, blogger seems to think my picture blog is all spam, and has put up some kind of warning when you try to view it. Just click proceed and enjoy the cuteness therein. I'm working on getting it fixed, but nobody has responded to me yet.

Dexter went to the doctor today, and we got another pat on the back and "Good Job" from his doctor. Now he goes back when he's a month old. I have an appointment next thursday, and a dentist appointment this coming tuesday, and hopefully after that we'll be doctor appointment free for a bit. It's good to get good reviews at each one, but it's a bit of a job getting my son and I together to be social these days.

Ho Hum.

The baby is bleating. The picture blog is blocked. My son and I sat around in our pajamas all day. I don't really have much else to say.

Ok, so I'm not going to end it on a depressing note. Yes, I'm sad my dog is dead. I'm also happy my grandparents got to hear my son snoring. I have a dentist appointment next tuesday at 10am. My son goes to the doctor tomorrow and I can ask about how much food I need to be giving him. He downs an entire 2oz. bottle in less than 5 minutes and wakes up a half hour before he's supposed to be eating, sometimes and hour before, and is gnawing his hands and getting mighty fed up with his pacifier. I'm trying 2.5 oz. tonight. Hopefully that will appease the little guy. I definitely don't want to over feed him, and I'm new at this mom thing. My pediatrician better prepare himself for a barrage of questions at each visit.

I had fun spending the entire day in my pajamas with my son.

That goddamn dog...

I love you Ruby, and I hope you don't have to hurt anymore. You drove us crazy for almost 15 years, but you really were a very good dog. I'm going to miss you.

Cute Part 2

That's the grin I was talking about. :D

!!!!!

His umbilical cord fell off!

That, and his genitalia looking severly less raw and freshly circumcised mean normal diaper changes from here on out!!!

Also, he fells asleep better when I sing to him. I'm running out of songs. Those around me are probably running out of patience with "Me and Bobby McGee".

Any suggestions?

One week at home.

Dexter has been sans-hospital for a week now. The carpet folks are coming today to replace the one at our apartment. Then, it's only a week or so and I'll be at the apartment with the little guy. Steve's Grandma offered us a glider and ottoman. It's blue, so it will go nicely in a baby room once we have our own space and Dexter has his. I want to go there and rearrange the furniture already. Socrates is going to have to be outside of our room, but I don't think she'll mind, because I can put her where the sun shines in really brightly. I just hope Steve's dad's cats don't bug her.

Anyways, on to the important thing, a picture review of some of the weeks highlights:

Fox, helping set up Dexter's swing.

Watching football with Daddy and Rufus.

Finger picture. :D

Dino-mite.

Getting in some quality Ama time.

Daddy and Great Grandpa Jerry.

A little blurry post sponge bath.

Nap time.

School has been put on the back burner this week. I really need to get this place cleaned up some, and get some of Dexter's things organized. He has a lot of clothes that aren't going to fit him for awhile. So many people bought things that are a few sizes too big. Because, and I quote "everyone always gets newborn clothes" Yeah, all I seem to have are clothes that are a couple sizes too big. Where is this supposed surplus of tiny clothes? my son is drowning in the current ones.

Cute.

Item the first: Fox has started saying Hi. He says Hi to everything, but especially to things that are soft and fuzzy. His cat Shiloh had kittens a couple weeks ago and he likes to walk up to the box they live in saying "Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi." in this sweet little high pitched voice.

Item the second: After the barrage of Hi's, Fox likes to eskimo kiss anything soft and fuzzy. Then he pulls his face away to reveal the biggest grin I've ever seen a 14 month old muster.

Item the third: My son does this weird snoring thing. He sighs instead of making a snoring noise. So every once in awhile I have the distinct pleasure of hearing little hmms in the middle of the night. Steve says it's his little beacon, letting us know he's breathing and he's alright, so we don't need to get up and check every 5 minutes like we usually do. :D

Item the 4th: The other day I was holding Dexter and Fox came up and said "Hi" and rubbed his nose on the back of my son's head, and smiled the biggest smile I've seen that 14 month old muster.

ouchouchouchouch

Staples and their ultimate removal are no fun for anyone. (unless you're into that sort of thing...)Now I just have to keep myself on the fast track to healing. I have a plethora of pills: painkillers, iron supplements, antibiotics, blood pressure medicine... It's hard to keep track when I have to take some 6 times a day and some 3 times a day and some once a day. It's especially hard because my sleep is broken up now.

Anybody know of a good dentist who will rip a tooth out my mouth for next to free? Or for some sort of trade? I've got a pretty cute baby. :D

Happy One Week Dexter!

I can't believe a week ago I was in the hospital. I still get nauseous when I see people being strapped down for surgery when flipping through channels on TV. We watched House last night and I had a lot more trouble with the graphic stuff than I usually do. I'm sure in time my post traumatic stress dramatics will calm down a bit. I can only hope. As long as I don't start having nightmares about it, I think I'll be alright. Then again, I have to get enough straight sleep to go into dreamland. :D

Today we went to Babies R Us with Steve's mom. She calls him her little angel. She got us a play gym thing that I had on my registry. They had a ton of costumes, and I think I found the one Dexter is going to wear this year. :D

He went to the doctor for the first time today. He's 9 lbs. The doctor also said he's probably not constipated, that it can sometimes take up to 5 days before the formula goes through their system. he said I only have to worry if he hasn't pooped in the next day or two. Other than the lack of crap, Dexter got a clean bill of health. The doctor said he's a strong little guy. When he put Dex on his stomach Dex started putting his head up. I know now is a time I need to cherish and remember everything, but I can't help but get excited for the future when I go past a park, or when I think about dressing him up as a skeleton when he's big enough to sit and get facepaint. :D There is so much cute clothes out there. I need to stay far away from Babies R Us.

Almost a week already.

I never thought I'd be begging for this guy to wake up. I also never thought I'd be begging for him to poop more. He sleeps like a lion. I think he gets about 20 hours in a day. It definitely makes things easier, but it gets at this worry-wart.

Today brings a doc appointment for me. I don't know if they'll be taking my staples out, but I fear when they do decide to.

That's my staple remover kit. Everyone I've told about it has had the same response. They get a little wide-eyed and say "You have to take them out yourself?!" I have no idea why they decided I needed to have these in my possession and be responsible for bringing them to my OB. You'd think they'd have these in their office.

I have a headache that an ibuprofen 600 can't chase away. It's nothing intense, but annoying enough to warrant wanting it gone. I'm going to try eating something, even though I've been pretty good about keeping the belly well-stocked lately.

Ask me again in a week, or a month, or a couple months, but right now, this Mommy thing is everything it's made out to be. :D

On second thought...

He was an absolute dream last night. He woke up once. Once! I was up more than he was, checking to make sure he was still breathing. I worry that he's not getting enough to eat, since he's been sleeping through feeding times. The most concrete and similar advice I've heard from the masses of mothers has been to let sleeping babies lie. I'll have to see when he goes to the doctor today or tomorrow.

Reason #123 I kind of hate my hospital: I needed to be going to see a doctor and Dexter does too, today, and I wasn't informed of that until saturday. :[

I feel better and better every day, and besides some itching around my belly incision and back pain I'm almost human again.

Now, my son beckons and I need to straighten up a little before my friend Krista gets here. It's kind of a tornado of baby stuff.


Go check out my other blog! It's the picture-a-day one I was talking about making. http://dexterbaby.blogspot.com/

Surviving the first night with the tea kettle

It was just me and the Bean last night. I went through the entire range of post-pregnancy emotions. I worried he was too hot. I worried his circumcision was infected, or that he was in dire pain after kicking himself in the junk.

I changed a diaper of his for the first (and second, and third) time. He has this squeal like a well-heated tea kettle. He hates being undressed in the worst way. If I had an open sore on my genitalia I probably would dread people messing with it too.

I kind of just want to cry all the time, but I think that's mainly a combination of being tired and healing from surgery and not knowing what the hell I'm doing with this little guy. I keep telling myself how much fun he'll be in the coming months and years, and I keep ignoring the thoughts that it's never going to be the same. Ever.

Thankfully, Steve seems to really like the little guy. He's also the best partner I could have ever picked and I have no idea how I lucked out and snagged him.

Zippers, trapped gas, and blood... oh my.

He's here! He's here! I needed to preface all the ugliness that brought him by telling you all that.

As you avid readers can see, Tuesday went by without any problems. I went home from the hospital and had a nice dinner with everyone. Steve and I went home and watched Heroes and slept a whole bunch.

Steve woke me up around 9am, and the power was out at our apartment. We decided to go visit my mom and dad and kris and lili, since they most likely had power.

Around 11 we decided to leave. I had only eaten a couple popsicles and Dexter had only slightly moved. It was around then that my whole lower back and abdomen hurt. It wasn't really rhythmic. It was so bad I couldn't really stand up straight. We went to our apartment, got my bag, and went to the er. They sent us up to the OB floor and we had to sit in the waiting room until a room opened up. It was 11:30 or 11:45 by then, and I had started having contractions. I went to time them and they were a minute apart. I freaked out and thought I was going to have him right then.

When we got in the room I found out I was 1.5-2 cm dialated. Then they were getting nervous, making me nervous, and putting IVs in me. I didn't really freak out until the oxygen mask was on my face. I'm thankful my mom got there in time to see me before I went into surgery. I hate that I had to do it all myself. It was so unbelievably scary.

Healing from any kind of stomach surgery is a painful thing. Somehow, it seems like healing from an unexpected one is all the more painful. I was so sure I was going to die under the general anethesia.

I ended up needing a c-section because outwardly, his heartrate was dropping fast. Inwardly, they soon found out, he had pooped. It's no good to shit in the bag of water that provides your oxygen and food. They had to pump his little stomach. I didn't even get to see him until 3 hours after I came out of surgery.

That being said, he's perfect and I love him and you and your computers need to prepare for the barrage of pictures about to be thrust upon you once I'm home.

Not to put too fine a point on it...

I'd really love to be rid of this persistent bee in my bonnet. I really would. All the fears that keep bouncing around in my head are as irrational as they are numerous. The sheer amount of the unknown that comes with all this makes me crazy. I have no pain with which to even hypothetically liken it to. I have no idea what it's going to be like. My sister had to be induced twice. It didn't take the first time.

Today I got a text message from Mario that made me laugh and feel so much better. It simply said "Force out made Niko mad. Look at him now."

Today my blood pressure was 120/77 when I got in there. My blood work came back fine, and the nurse kept forgetting to take my urine sample to test it for protein, so I guess I'm quite alright. I'm hoping I'll be surprised with some pains in the wee hours of some morning in the next few days. It seems like it will be easier to take if I don't bring it on myself. In some instances, that lack of control thing makes the fear a little more manageable.

And, in all honesty, I have a great partner in all this, who listens to what I want and will make sure that I get it. Sometimes it pays to be with someone with no regard for anyone other than those he cares about. :D

Something tells me this is going to be a lot harder than killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts.

D-Day?

Tomorrow I go in for more blood pressure monitoring. I've got to be hooked up so they can monitor the baby too. If the baby is fine and my blood pressure is fine, I'm going to wait and see if he comes out on his own. I worry that Steve will be sad we missed out on taking advantage of his 2 days off in a row. But... I'd rather not force Dexter out, and this may be our last chance to really be alone together for awhile. I'm sure my blood pressure is going to be just as bad. I'm going to drink plenty of water tonight and tomorrow morning, have a banana, try my best to go into denial and relax. Hey, maybe I'm already/will already be in labor when I go to the hospital tomorrow.

I bought a bunch of yarn and magazines and hopefully I'll be distracted enough when the real stuff is starting to go down.

This is starting to get awful scary awful quick.

and my lower back won't stop aching. :(

Today my routine doctor appointment threw me for a loop right into a room at the hospital, waiting around for my blood pressure to return to normal. It's definitely taxing to be sitting around on an uncomfortable bed, in an uncomfortable place, waiting for your blood pressure to go down. It's even more taxing when it doesn't.

The machine took my bp every 15 minutes. In one instance, it was 157/95, and 15 minutes later I was falling asleep as it took it again, and it was 166/90 something. How does one's blood pressure jump ten points when you're almost sleeping??? They had me lying on my back, which makes all of the baby lying on my organs. The blood pressure cuff kept sliding towards my elbow whenever I relaxed my arm. After steve and I had been there almost 4 hours they had me lay on my left side and put the cuff on my right arm. That's when the reading started dropping to good numbers.

They made me angry at my OB's office too. Last week I weighed around 240. When the nurse rushed through my weight today she slinked the thing over and had me weighing 248 without even letting the thing stop bouncing up and down. There is no way I gained 8 pounds in just a week. My pants still fit, and my shirts still covered my belly. Where did I put it? When I went to the hospital the nurse there weighed me and got 243. And that was after I drank a bunch and had to pee really bad. I guess that one minute drive across the street to the hospital made me lose 5 pounds?

Anyways, I know the baby moving less and high blood pressure are very valid things to worry about. I just wish they wouldn't have led me to believe it was all going to go down today. That sure as hell didn't help my heart much. I know my baby is coming. I know what's going to happen during labor, and have been expecting him to start making me hurt a million different ways for almost a week now. It just freaked me out so bad to know it was happening for real. Plus, I wasn't packed for the hospital or anything. The carseat still isn't in the car.

I know it sounds dumb. It's like I've been riding in a car for 4 hours and all of a sudden panicked that I'm on the road. Hell, after the doctor visit we had planned on walking around old navy and getting some halloween duds for the little guy. And we had planned on walking around the mall trying to get labor started. I can't explain why I freaked out so bad thinking I was going to have to go be induced right then. I'm much calmer now, and I'm once again at terms with the mind numbingly scary prospect of labor. (or as at terms as I'm ever going to be without knowing anything about what it will be like.)

Ask me on Tuesday if I'm still feeling as good...

2 days to go.

Still no signs of any mucus anything. Still no pains other than random stuff and gas pains brought on by my antibiotics wreaking havoc on my gastrointestinal system. I haven't had to take a tylenol 3 for a couple days now, so I'm glad to have been taking the antibiotics. They helped immensely. Once Dex finally decides to come out, I can get my teeth fixed and all that good stuff. Hopefully I won't be too out of it if I need work done. I'll have an infant to look after.

The plan right now is I'm going to be induced sometime around he 27th if Dexter hasn't made his grand entrance by then. It will be nice because we'll have a time frame of some kind. I can tell people to come on up around then if they want to be there for his birth. I can tell Steve's mom and stepdad not to go out of town.

My friend Julia thinks I won't make it through the weekend without going into labor. On saturday we'll see after my doc pokes and prods again. I'm definitely not looking forward to that. :( Everyone start sending all kinds of labor friendly thoughts my way. Steve says the bean is already taking after him, that he's going to stay put until someone makes him move.

In other news, I'm on the anatomy and disease portion of the Medical Transcription training program. Someone, anyone, please hit me right in the face if I ever decide it will be a good idea to look up the new and interesting terms I'm coming across in Google Image searches. Yuck. Some diseases are just disgusting.

I have come to an amazing conclusion. I will no longer call boils boils. They are hereafter to be referred to as furuncles. :D It's just more fun to say. Now, lets hope I never have to talk about having a furuncle. anywhere.

upon further research...

it turns out I'm an idiot, but one of many idiots.

Also, Sign of the Apocalypse number 4: The Cubs are kicking serious amounts of ass.

AND!!! my landlord is going to replace our carpet. While he's down here, he's going to fix the leaky shower too! Sign of the apocalypse number 5?

Apocalypso

There is this nagging image of a mayan calendar in the back of my head lately. Or is it Aztec? Whatever, whichever. I'm thinking of the one that says this ring around the rosy ends in all fall down sometime in 2012. The rational side of me says that I couldn't stop it, so I shouldn't worry. It also says most of the doomsday predictions can be applied to whatever you want. The fire and brimstone and everybody dies section of the bible is very generic. I've seen shows where they apply it to today. I've seen shows where they say it pertains to ancient rome.

In any case, the irrational side of me starts picking at my brain. I think about a lot of things in my life as of late. I don't know if anyone else can never think of themselves as adult, but I never seem to be able to. Now my hand is forced. Even without the uterus bean, my hand is forced. I've met someone I can't imagine being without, and he seems to like me back. You grow up and get a little life together when that happens. So, sign of the Apocalypse number one: I'm finally getting my act together.

Late at night, when I was up with tooth pain or the need to pee, I told myself it was ok that our situation was crap, because otherwise everything would be perfect, and when things are perfect for me that usually means the other shoe is not only going to drop, it's going to give me a concussion or something when it hits me in the face. It's almost like if I don't have the crap, then the thing I want most is going to turn out crappy. I apologize if this isn't making sense. Sign of the Apocalypse number two: I'm having trouble finding the crap lately.

This is the paragraph where I go into the fact that the world is in turmoil and we're fighting everywhere and nothing is as good as when I was a kid. These are all the obvious points, and they all have been cycled and recycled through everyone's life. Talk to your parents. Ask them how the world of their childhood related to the world their children grew up in. Then ask your grandparents. Then ask what their parents would've said. I guarantee you it'd be almost the same thing. Sign of the Apocalypse number three: It's always almost Babylon.

I need a DeLorean, I wanna be four again.


Still no birthing starting. It looks like I'm going to have to be induced, and I'm going to have to have the pain meds that involve an IV sticking out of my back the whole time.

Adventures in tooth decay

I had my weekly checkup today. I found out 2 things.

1. My doctor has big hands.
2. I'm not dilated at all.

He said that if nothing has happened by my next visit, we'll put something up there to get things going. I really wish I hadn't just taken a tylenol 3. I wish I could remember what he said it was. I've been trying all kinds of things from spicy food to what ever else those old wives have suggested and none of it is working. If I do have to be induced, I might make him do it around the 29th. Then he'll be born on my great grandpa's birthday.

My doc also gave me some antibiotics and a list of dentists that aren't scared of working on pregnant ladies. I figure the dentist will only prescribe antiobiotics anyways, so I'm just going to take them and see what happens. They can't do any real work until Dexter is out and about. They also probably couldn't do anything until the possible infection is done away with.

I can feel the little guy slinking ever downward. At first I thought it was contractions, but the tightness is so random. It's also like an afterthought. I barely feel it. It's good to know that he's making his way towards birth, even if it does mean I constantly feel like I have to pee a river.

In other news, my apartment flooded. :(

use care with car machines.

especially w/alcohol.

9 more days

Still no baby outside of the womb. Still no sign of a mucus plug or any other "bloody show" :[

Today I had the lovely recurring jaw pain I suffered back around mid to late April. It starts exactly in between my front teeth and hurts all along all the teeth on the right side. I think it's mainly the fault of the broken wisdom tooth on the top right. My OB gave me a prescription for tylenol with codine. I'm afraid to take it. I'm worried about what it will do to the baby, if I'll have some adverse reaction, etc.

Luckily, the pain has kind of backed off some. With my wonderful luck being what it usually is, I bet it will stay in check until 4 or 5 months from now. Because why would I have the pain I need to use Tylenol 3 for when I actually have the tylenol 3 on hand? It was horrible. All I could do was cry.

Does anyone know any safe ways to coax this little guy out of here? It'd be so nice to sleep on my stomach again.

Also: I have an iguana. She's 4.

Jimmy

I'm working on a portion of the medical transcription training that talks about the muscles in the face. It reminds me of a story my dad tells about how witty my uncle can be.

They were working somewhere, probably a factory. One of their coworkers made some kind of wisecrack. My uncle replied with a resounding "Kiss My Ass!" He was immediately yelled at to clean up his language. Without missing a beat, he said "Apply your orbicular muscles to my rectum and apply suction!"

Yes, from my high school dropout Uncle Jimmy.

There's still no baby outside of my womb yet. I actually think he's got the hiccups right now. I tried to soothe him by rubbing his back, and he responded by punching my bladder. Either I powerful suck at this "maternal" thing, or he's out to get me.

Anybody want to hold a baby?

I have gone far past heartburn and graduated to esophagus burn. Maybe even entire chest cavity burn. I can't go for more than 15 minutes between bathroom trips without being in agony. My lower back feels fine until I lay down. Then it decides to kind of quietly scream at me for awhile. I've had what might be one contraction. Maybe.

The apartment is a dire mess and the carseat is not in the car. I don't care if I have to walk and carry him home from the hospital, I'd like to be on my way to pushing him out.

You all try holding a baby for 9 months.

(All this being said, I'm so excited to see him, You all have NO idea. :D )

Like a dustbuster.

Do all 3 of you avid readers know what really sucks? I am more excited than I've ever been about his arrival, and it's going to be heralded by pain. I know nothing of the extent or duration or time it will begin. I just have to sit here, and judge every slink and slide of his. I have to nitpick and think "is this my water bag leaking? or the normal things pregnant ladies tend to leak?" (apologies for the gross outs, but pregnant ladies leak a lot of things. Get over it.)

He's big now, and when gravity has it's way with him, sometimes it feels like my whole stomach is getting tight. My lower back keeps slightly aching and then fading away and slightly aching again. I seem to have no appetite for food or sleep. It comes and goes so fleetingly I miss the jump on point.

My doctor didn't even check if I'm dilated or anything, so I still have to just assume he's making his way downward. (much to the disdain of my poor cervix).

If I weren't so sensitive to smells, I'd have a bucket right next to the bed, or even a bedpan. I don't care if the room is across the hall or upstairs, the pain involved in walking to the toilet after having held it while I slept four hours or so is agonizing enough to wake me up.

At least when he does finally make his appearance I won't be shellshocked by the sudden lack of sleep.

Wish me luck. I've been slacking on so much lately.

2 weeks.

Nothing seems to be ready yet. I still don't know if I'm going to stay at my mom's for a couple weeks right after. Steve will be off on vacation for the first week, and we'll probably just stay cooped up in the house. It would definitely be nice to have a bunch of people around who have had experience with babies recently. I think I might stay there his first night or so. I can't make Steve lay on that uncomfortable bed much longer than that.

I can definitely feel the little bugger getting all ready to go. I can barely walk without constantly feeling like I have to pee. It's making me extra crazy because I can't seem to sleep more than 4 hours at a time. I end up having to pee so bad it hurts and wakes me up, and then I can't get back to sleep. Now is the time to stock up on sleep, damnit.

I did get to finally see The Dark Knight yesterday. It was darker than I thought it would be. It threw me off. I know that Chris Nolan is not of the school of so many Adam West/George Clooney Batmen, but I really wasn't expecting the complete inability to guess what was going to happen. That definitely constitutes it as great. I hate when I've got it all figured out. I loved Heath as the Joker; he completely blows Jack Nicholson out of the water.

I got to see folks I haven't seen since I quit working at the theater. It was nice. Dex was being his usual self and didn't move for Jade. He never has. He made sure to move as soon as I was sitting comfortably in the theater. We went to Steve's Jewel afterward to check his schedule, and his coworker Loretta said I don't look 9 months pregnant. It was nice to hear, considering the next door neighbor keeps telling me how big I'm getting. I know she means it well. I hope, if she ever finds out, that I call her Lou Pinella with all kinds of good intentions.

2 more weeks. Then Steve gets to hold him for a little while.

Also: Thank you, Clay, for renewing my interest in The Young Ones. I watched some last night and fell asleep during the episode titled Boring. It rekindled my love of Neil. I forgot how much I loved it, and just how unintelligible Mike is unless you're really paying attention.

Heart.

The Zoo has a new baby. I got to see him today. He was born on August 15, and his dad died earlier this year in some freak accident. Turns out curiosity kills the giraffe too.

Sorry, that was a horrible joke. Here are cute baby pictures to make up for it.

Adventures in Medicining 2

I used to date a guy who got quite the laughs from combining things that shouldn't normally go so well together. He argued that adding "mexican" before any noun automatically made the noun funnier. If you have ever been pestered by anyone online with a screen name starting with "Afro" it was probably him.I'm working on suffixes in this portion of my medical transcription adventure, and I can't help but think of him.

Afrocentesis: procedure to aspirate fluid from the afro.
Afrocele: an afro hernia.
Afrogenesis: the beginning of an afro
Afrography: the process of recording afros.
Afrologist: specialist in the subject of afros.
Afromegaly: enlargement of the afro
Afrometry: the process of measuring afros.
Afroplasty: Surgical repair of the afro.
Afroma: Afro tumor.
Afrorrhage: excessive flow or discharge from the afro.
Afrosclerosis: hardening of the afro.
Afrospasm: twitching of the afro.

There you go, Jon. A whole new slew of screennames.

Revisions

I spoke to a friend and she gave me some pointers that really helped me narrow things down. They included, but aren't limited to: No butt shots, no pictures in cages (too depressing) or glass(too easily smudged and fingerprinted and then too much of a chance that's all that will show up on it once they're enlarged), and none with a lot of background noise.

I've narrowed it down to these. The macaw has got the most votes so far, but I really like the gorilla playing with his feet. (her?) I think we're going to the zoo wednesday. I know that they're excited about any zoo babies. They're also doing this whole "Year Of the Frog" thing, but all my frog pictures are sub-par at best.

I suppose I really should be working on school stuff...