All Glory to the Internet!

Apparently the Brookfield Zoo is having a contest. A photo contest. I have been steadily clicking away for months now. I have a plethora of plethoras of pictures.

This heralds the current predicament I face you folks with:

Can you help me pick which one you think will win me a prize?

I'm uploading them all to my photobucket as soon as I'm done writing this. Go look, and let me know. I don't know when Steve is off next, but we're heading to the zoo to fill out the necessary paperwork and drop off a shiny little 8 x 10.

Seriously, let me know.

Science and Dino Bones and Nephews, Oh My!

We went to a children's museum and Rockford, IL and suddenly found ourselves at the end of the movie Something Wicked This Way Comes.

It was good to see everyone and I got a lot of fun pictures. They should be up on my photobucket soon.

Also: newest adventure in medical transcription:

Vagotomy. Just when you ladies think you'd rather never have one of those:
->An operation to cut the vagus nerve. This causes the stomach to make less acid.<-

I can only hope this makes you giggle like it makes me giggle. It also helps me remember them, so if you're not laughing you can go get a vagotomy.

Adventures in Medicining

I'm on the Medical Word Building "module" of the online course I've taken up. It's made for some fun, some wtfs in regard to my typing skills, and lots of note taking.

Also, people who make up medical words have no regard for what everyone else says the words mean. :[

Examples:

Hexadactylism. What, as in 6 flying dinosaur syndrome? No such luck, avid readers. Apparently dactyl is in reference to finger or toe. There's nothing Ptero about it. I find it hard to believe Pterodactyl means flying finger or toe.

Going by first instinct, as someone who doesn't read the dictionary recreationally, I would assume Craniocervical is someone with their head up their... well, cervix? No way, Jose. Apparently cervic is in reference to neck.

So far my favorite little gems I've come across are coccygeal. I'm also rather fond of colporrhaphy. But that has more to do with me remembering it as Corporal Harpy.

I'm liking it a lot. I'm enjoying knowing I'm going to be able to bring some money in and not have to spend any on someone watching my son.

Marengo tomorrow!

P.S. Discogenic is probably nowhere near as fun as it sounds...

MT

as in Medical Transcription.

I'm signed up for online courses to eventually work from home. I'm so excited. I don't have to pay for day care. I don't have to pay for work clothes. I don't have to sell my first born to fill up my gas tank to get to work.

I can travel all over and still work as long as there is internet to use. :D

I'm so excited. I feel like a grown up, which helps the anxiety involving the impending son.

An hour and a half!

I mean seriously, how long should a doctor's visit take? No. Wait. The visit only took about 20 minutes. The wait was the hour and a half. Gotta love medical coverage funded by the guv'mint.

Anybody ever watch Rome on HBO? Steve wanted season 1 for his birthday and I got it for him. He then made me watch it. I'm glad he did. Lucius Vorenus is amazing. I heart him.

Sorry, got side-tracked. The visit was relatively uneventful. They measured my belly, swabbed for the "bad bacteria" that could be occupying places it shouldn't, and checked the bean's heartbeat. First it was 129, which is on the low end. After he woke up and moved a bit it was in the 130s. The doc said sometimes boys' heartbeats can be on the lower end of the spectrum. The other day my friend Liz was saying they think her brother's kid is going to be a boy because the heartbeat was so fast.

These old wives are more hypocritical than most politicians.

I do hold out hope for a baby with a full head of hair, on account of the massive heartburn. (more like entire chest cavity burn! Jeez.) When I was pregnant the first time my friend TJ (who is currently with Steve's ex) said Steve's ex had a dream where I had a toddler with the greenest eyes she's ever seen. Dark hair and green eyes are always good. Too bad Steve and I both had really light hair when we were younger.

Ok, enough baby day dreaming. He's going to be out any day now. The doc asked if I had noticed the mucus plug at all. It made me nervous thinking how close I really am now. No mucus plug yet, so I think I've at least got until September. I know he's not going to be the only person with whatever birthday he ends up getting. I just hope he doesn't come out on a day that belongs to someone I know personally. I just really need to make it past the 2nd and 3rd. (Ha! both of those belong to Joes!)

I'm excited for the baby picture blog. I'm hoping DexterBean isn't already taken. :D

Also, my friends drive my crazy sometimes. That is all.

all I'm sayin', pretty baby....

Caution. Hippos are surprisingly fast. Boyfriends are surprisingly hairy.


There's something oddly familiar about that pose... Like I've seen it in a movie somewhere...

That being said, it's one of my favorites.

apologies for the previous post. Robert Smith got a hold of my password and decided to emote.

Laurie and the No Good Very Bad Day

Somewhere in the midst of being entirely freaked out and engorged with self doubt and baby, I realized I'm not excited about his arrival. I don't have the funds or the space or the patience and I'm stuck somewhere I wasn't wanted in the first place.

I should really round up check stubs and bank statements and see exactly how much I spent on the man child who occupies the top half of the hovel I'm living in right now. I can't remember how many times I told steve we weren't going to see a penny of any kind of settlement money. I don't even want to go by my mom and dad's anymore because it just sucks that I don't ever get to live there and I'm the only one who hasn't made them feel like crap.

I miss Niko and I hate getting the run around when I try to make plans to see him.

My baby gets the Baltic and Mediteranean Ave. of mothers and residences.

Guess who got a new car???

That's right. This guy.

2000 Chrysler Town & Country. 99K miles. Total price after plate fees and sales tax: $5,661.

Pictures soon to come.

Also, where the heck is everybody lately? Nobody is answering emails.

In other news, steve's dad thinks steve is frustrated because of my feelings toward his dad. I don't know what makes me more sad, that I can't just suck it up and be polite, or that his dad is so delusional he thinks it's all my fault. I've asked steve at least once a day since I moved in if I'm the reason he gets frustrated with his dad. He said this has been going on a long time now, probably since he got hurt.

I bet he's just pretending the big baby belly doesn't exist. I wonder if he even asks steve about the impending grandson. I wish we lived on our own, or that my parents didn't already have such a full house. We have a nice little chunk of savings started with the 1500 we didn't spend on getting a new car.

I wish I had been a bit more of a grown up before I decided to not forgo this whole baby thing.

Pict-o-Blog

I'm thinking of starting another blog once Dexter decides to debut. A friend of mine is showcasing his growth in photography skills by doing a picture a day blog. No words, just one picture posted. I'd love to do that for everyday of Dexter's life. I just don't know when I would start, because I know I won't have internet access while I'm in the hospital. Well, maybe they'll have wireless. I can hope. What would I even call it? I have a month or so to figure it out. I'm just so glad I've got the camera I have. Prepare yourselves for picture overload anyways.

The van we looked at yesterday has weird brake issues. The dealer said he'd get it looked at first thing this morning. We're supposed to call 'round about noon. It's a nice Town and Country. Steve seems excited about it, and my dad says it seems pretty good.

In growing a baby inside me news, I have this newfound love affair with guacamole. I never have liked guacamole, but I can't get enough of the stuff. I'm so excited to make a big ass bowl and just sit and be fat and eat it all later.

Ok, I can't sit here all tummy rumbly and just talk about it. Time to walk the guacamole walk, not just talk the talk.

Bryan, top marks for not trying...

The shower went by fast. I also heard it went well. I was covered in a mountain of presents. No, really, look:

I am adequately equipped for the little guy's arrival. Now if only I had somewhere to store him. It's just so convenient to have him in utero for the moment.

I think the Baby Daddy and I are getting a car tomorrow. I know we're test driving, as long as my dad doesn't get out of work too late. I think I might force Steve to go without him if we need to. He just feels more comfortable having someone who knows about cars with us. I can definitely agree with that. How are we supposed to know what a proper car should drive like when we've been saddled with that rusty ol' van for so long?

The boobs and belly are ever-expanding. :( I wish I could kind of put a hold on them. It's getting hard to do much of anything. My feet itching like crazy aren't helping matters either. I'm getting to be the angry pregnant lady I've tried not to be. It's just hard for me to relax when everyone else is all walking around fiddling with whatever. I need some damn patience, and quick. There will soon be a little boy with even less than I have now. I need to provide a good example.

For anyone wanting to look at shower pictures, check out my facebook or myspace. They're all up there.

All things food and baby...

Today is the day.

I awoke with "Land Down Under" by Men at Work stuck in my head. It was the part about the man from Brazil. I don't know if this is a good sign or a bad sign.

Family weekends

You know what that means, plenty of heated tempers and ovens and temperatures. Nowhere near enough time to really enjoy any of it.

I will go crazy before this shower. It will happen. If I'm lucky I'll get past it and still have a good time tomorrow. I think I've got near 30 folks that have rsvp'd a yes. That could mean I'll end up with 10 folks. Oh well, more food and drink for everyone.

I really, really, really wish that names didn't mean so damn much. They can call him dirtbag as long as they do it with compassion in their voices.

I'm so sick of all the stupid drama.

In a busted van in Franklin Park

Waitin for a train I was feelin' near as faded as my jeans. Steve and I got to talking about this slime bucket he used to work with. This guy told everyone about this ulcer he had. He was seeing this girl who worked at the checkout. They went on vacations and got hotel rooms and everything. Then they found out he is married and his wife is the one with the ulcer. Not him.

I told Steve acting like that would be a sure fire way to get the baby and I out of the picture. I kind of felt sick even joking with threats of taking his baby away. And that's a justifiable case. If anyone threatens to take away a child to get their way then I feel bad for the kid.

Humans aren't supposed to be used as something to barter with. Humans aren't supposed to grovel. If you make your significant other or parents or whoever do so in fear of losing contact with someone who is rightfully theirs too, you are a slave owner. I really don't like steve's dad, and I try my best to ignore him, but I would never forbid him from seeing Dex. I wouldn't dangle the ability to be near Dex and I in front of Steve to try and make him not speak to his dad either. They're family. He really does try to be there for Steve.

I know a couple people who seem to be locked in by significant others who threaten to take their child away, or just continue to threaten to leave.

To the significant others being threatened, remember:

Nothin don't mean nothin darlin if you ain't free.

I'd give all my tomorrows for just one more yesterday

where I could lie on my stomach. It's such a trivial thing that has blown up into such a luxury. I will never take it for granted ever again.

I'm 239lbs. Officially a house. When I sleep the side I sleep on starts feeling like someone hit my hip with a baseball bat. Then I get the lovely little ache down to my knee. Rolling over is a temporary fix until the side I roll to gets afflicted. It's the rolling over that's the hard part.

The doc visit went relatively uneventfully, as usual. I waited for 2 hours before I even got in to see the doc. There were 2 ladies next to me complaining. I understand being pregnant and uncomfortable. I really don't think they should complain about having to wait 40 minutes when I had been there an hour and a half by then. I was quietly reading a magazine. I know the world does not ebb and flow based on me. I understand people have things that are more important and it might eat up some of my precious time. It's really hard to be in a foul mood about time at an obstetrician's office. I don't mind waiting if it means my doctor is going to be there for me when my baby decides to slide on out.

I'm watching Fox today. He's becoming quite the mimic. He's just mimicking the dogs. I don't mind him not talking a lot or walking yet because I get to see him pant and bark. And lick the dogs right in their faces.

Shower in Tminus 5 days. eep.

I can't drive 55

I can't drive anywhere. Today is day 6 of Steve's dad trying to fix the brakes. Apparently the past days were the fault of AutoZone selling him the wrong part. That's why they kept leaking. Now he just has to bleed the other brake. One is bled and fine, the other is waiting until he drags himself out of bed.

In the interim, my boyfriend gets to take a car with less than perfect brakes to work and wherever else he needs to go.

No one is home at my mom and dad's for most of today, so I am stuck here with twiddling thumbs.

We looked at cars the other day. I keep wanting to say yesterday, but Thursday and Saturday don't usually sit by each other. There's bad blood or an unpaid debt or something. Their story changes every time you ask them.

The Bean is being a lazy ass. He only moves when it really starts to freak me out that he hasn't. It's all the more John Hurt-esque now. I see his entire body sliding across me. I see my skin jumping when he decides he wants to kick and not just roll around. I'm just waiting for the dinner table event when he forces his way out. I can hope he doesn't hiss back at the cat. I can hope he busts out a top hat and chimes in with the "Hello my baby" cartoon frog song.

Then again, if he did that, he'd probably only sing for me, and I wouldn't make any money.

Ok, I believe I've pop-culture referenced you out for today.

Anyone know if a 2001 Chevy Venture (with 88K miles) is better than a 2000 Toyota Sienna? I can't remember how many miles that one had, but it was most likely comparative to the mileage on the Venture. It looked newer, like it had been owned by old folks.

I want a car, damnit.

all kinds of babies...

Dex is doing the trick where he doesn't move much. I'm hoping when i go to sleep later it will be a kickfest like it was this morning.

The last kitten is getting on my last nerve. He gets into EVERYTHING...

Fox has been sneezing out all kinds of clear, runny stuff. Tonight I helped hold his little arms down while Lili sucked all the snot out of his nose. Not. Fun. He cried so hard he made himself throw up. All over me.

The frozen strawberries are taking forever to thaw, even when I follow package directions. The strawberry trifle had better be worth it. It includes, but is not limited to: pound cake, butter cookies, strawberries, french vanilla pudding, and whipped cream. I remembered my camera this time so I should have a pic of the final product before the cannabis induced dessert inhalers make it non-existant.

It's almost baby shower time, and after that, it's almost baby time. I'm so unbelievably nervous, but I'm not sure which one weighs more on my mind these days.

Update, now with pictures!

Fox is the Salacious Crumb to my Jabba.

I'm just a cooking machine

and I won't cook for nobody but you.

Ok, that's a lie. I'll cook for everybody. I've been in a mood as of late.

I made coleslaw the other night! I even shredded the cabbage myself. (I'm sure I can get in trouble for proclaiming how I crudely chopped it as shredded, but lets not argue semantics.) I forgot to salt and pepper it and Steve still thought it was good. This man is a deer to a salt lick when it comes to the white stuff. He said it didn't even need it. :D

My next feat is rice krispie treats with honey and peanut butter instead of marshmallows. Maybe I won't screw these up and end up with a big blob of rice krispie/marshmallow and then almost a bowl's worth of unstuck krispies. (read: I SUCK at the mixing together portion of Rice Krispie Treating)

I bought a trifle dish! Now comes the fun part of makin some trifle. Some genius lady told me of some ideas for Death By Chocolate Trifle. The description got rave reviews, so I had better try it before my shower. Don't want to put forth the edible version of communism on my guests. (read: looks good on paper, falls apart in real life)

I've been feeling extra pregnant lately, and while I can feel ok spending a whole day doing zoo type activities and then cook things, I get home and finally rest and I can barely move my lower back/hips hurt so bad. :(

I wish he was out and a year old already.