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I did something to my back. I don't know what, and I don't know if it's a muscle issue or a joint issue. My wrist has been hurting too. I'm just falling apart.

I went shopping on black friday for the first time ever today. It was totally not worth it. :(

the needle tears a hole

the old familiar sting.

Dex has vaccinations on Monday. He also turns 2 months old that day. I'm so very scared for him and my reactions. I about fainted when Patrick had his for kindergarten. What am I going to do when the fruit of my loins is screaming. I'm also irrationally worried about vaccine reactions. He's been sniffly and coughing too, so I'm worried having a slight cold will make the vaccine reactions worse.

Sucks to your vaccines. I wish there was some way around them.

He's serenading himself...

He coos. a lot. He also grunts, gives me weird looks, and all around kind of makes my day.

Can you guys tell he's been sleeping more? :D

Steve has a dentist appointment tomorrow. He has been a week-or-so-long-sufferer of SEVERE mouth pain. He says it comes and goes, and I say he needs to visit a dentist, especially since he has insurance and can go to a good one.

I think that Dex is officially on Steve's insurance. I'm glad. Now we don't have to wait at stupid crappy medical card doctors who call him Christiana. Seriously. :[

Also, this:
I'm sure you know which one is me, but this is me and some folks I pal'd around with circa 2000.

Yes, I do believe that is a 311 t-shirt.

Switch-er-oo

Dexter has his days and nights mixed up. I managed to bamboozle him into sleep for now, but who knows if it will last when I try to put him in his bed.

I'm definitely afraid I'm going to have to get rid of my iguana. I'm worried she's getting pushed to the back burner because we're occupied with Dex-type stuff for now. Dex-type stuff takes up a lot of my day. I apologize to anyone I was talking online to or talking on the phone to and ended up cutting the conversation short.

Dexter is up to 4 oz of formula. Depending on his mood, it now means there's 4-6 hours between feedings. Sometimes it's still every 3 hours, but he's putting more time between yelling at me to feed him and that means I'm closer to an entire night's sleep. :D

The days are passing by so fast, and I worry I'll wake up tomorrow and be 80 with no memories to show for it. I'm hoping it's because my days are broken up into 3-4 hour increments. Watching the clock has made the day go faster.

Good thought of the day: We bought the cutest xmas outfit for Dexter today, and I think I got all my xmas shopping for my nephews done! :D

Dwindling.

Money, patience, ability to accurately handle responsibility. Yeah. All dwindling.

Last night I gave him his bottle without shaking it up to mix all the formula and water together. Granted, it was 4am, and I had just woken up, but I still feel bad for basically giving him white colored water with a big ass clump of formula in it.

I need to find a new pediatrician. I need to figure out how exactly to change his formula, or if I need to. We still have 9/10 of a big ass container, plus an unopened container of the stuff he's got now. I definitely don't want him to suffer through any digestive issues, but I really don't want to waste close to $30. I wish I knew someone else who had just had a baby who gives them Enfamil. It drives me crazy, because he's only been eating this since he came out of me, and recently it's really seemed to disrupt any sense of regularity he's had. And (skip to the next paragraph if you'd rather not hear about poop) He seems really distressed the last few times he's pooped.

His pediatrician seems to not even remember him every time we see him. He called him Christian one time because of how they had Dexter's name written on his folder. Maybe I'm being picky, but if the doc doesn't even know his name, and keeps asking if I'm breastfeeding or bottle feeding, I think it's time to find someone with less of a workload or someone with a better memory.

Anyone want to come hold a baby so I can get my apartment in order?

Steve mentioned a christening to his dad a while back, and now his Dad is all hell bent on it happening before the end of the year. Is there something with catholics that makes it less holy if you're baptized after december? And anyways, my son is NOT going to be catholic. Sorry, any religion where you have to pay to get into heaven isn't for me thanks. If I knew how to have it done, I'd have him baptized non-denominationally. That way he can just pick when he gets older, and then everyone can come to a christening and enjoy it. I'm afraid Steve's dad's family won't show up unless I get him baptized catholic. I'm not catholic. My son isn't going to be catholic. Steve was baptized catholic, went to a catholic school and he just ended up being an atheist. I don't trust any religion where someone who beat on his wife or kids or stole things to buy drugs or some crap can just be forgiven because they told a priest every sunday that they "repented"

queries...

Do I really know when he's hungry, or am I just shoving a bottle in his face when nothing else works to quiet him? I wait the predesignated 3 hours between each bottle but my brother's girlfriend was saying he should be going 4 hours between bottles now. I was considering giving him more formula because he seemed hungry earlier. I think it would be hard to put him on the path of bad eating habits so early, but I worry. My eating habits are crap.

It also would be nice to have a little 4 hour nap between feedings at night. The closer we get to the goal of sleeping through the night, the better.


The problem with babies is the consensus is most often contradictory.

Ground Control to Major Mom:

My son's nose crinkles when he smiles, and somehow, that little fold of skin just kind of makes my day.

Not in Kansas anymore.

Steve and I have been fighting. Well, maybe not fighting. Maybe moreso I'm sad and complaining and he's just not acknowledging we're hitting some speed bumps. His silence is driving me nuts. I told myself when I found out I was pregnant that I'd keep it because I knew I would always be able to be an adult with him, and I'd get the same in return. I told myself that I had to love him, because he's the first guy I've been with who made me less mad the more we discussed our problems.

I've become a shut in, and he works all the time. This makes for a volatile Laurie. I want to get the hell out of the house and do things, but Steve is always worn out after work.

I shouldn't complain. He takes the baby every morning and lets me catch up on sleep. This is especially helpful since I can't seem to get tired unless it's the most inopportune time possible. He really does try when he's not so intimidated by us falling apart that he's stunned into silence.

My baby is getting fussier, and my boyfriend is working, watching sports, or sleeping.

The stroller broke and it sent me into a bit of a spiral of moodiness. Then again, it's not hard to shift me that way lately.

Top all of that with the fact that I haven't been able to focus on MT school, or my friends, or even a TV show. My attention span is locked in on freecell or solitaire. Not much else. My days have become: Feed Baby, Change Baby, Rock/Entertain Baby, and fight insomnia.

I can't believe it's been 6 weeks already and in 6 more weeks it will be the end of the year.

I started re-reading the Oz books by L Frank Baum. I haven't read them since Jr. High and it's been nostalgic and it's helped a bit. For kid books, they're really pretty good.

E!ep.

I'm addicted to Entertainment television. I sometimes wonder how long it will be until I'm Peg Bundy, knocking back bonbons like a college kid doing shots on friday night.

I actually was kind of bummed the other day that Holly isn't going to be on Girls Next Door anymore. I suppose I was really rooting for her and her octogenarian playboy.

To be fair, I change the channel a lot and there really is nothing on tv. It didn't start with my being able to sit through an entire episode of E! news. I watched true hollywood stories and talk soup. Talk Soup is my gateway drug to E!.

Yeah, there isn't much going on in my life. Lots of tv watching while rocking/feeding my son.

There's a heck of a lot I would do for CSI on DVD.

I wish it was still Halloween.

This will have to suffice.

All Hallow-ed out

Halloween was wonderful. I love our little tradition of Steve taking his vacation this time of year. He was lamenting having to go back to work today. I really wish he could find something with normal hours, that appreciates his tireless work ethic. Seriously, this guy called in once. It was because he had an eye infection and couldn't see to drive there. If he had had a ride there, he probably would've went in anyways.

Anyone know of any good jobs with decent benefits that pay around $11 an hour?

Anyways, Dexter trick or treated and we had so much fun. Then we got to be adults and go talk to other grownups. Well, sort of. I was the second oldest person there. The oldest was Ally's mom. One girl was talking about being 8 in 2000. I was 16 in 2000. :[ I guess it was just mainly shocking because before she said how old she was she was filling her large McDonalds sweet tea cup with Mike's Hard Lemonade and practically eating cigarettes.

That's just 2 years older than Patrick. I can remember wanting to do things like that when I was that age. I can only hope my son is like me and too scared to try the hard stuff. Yesterday Steve was saying he's so glad I don't really drink or smoke or anything. He said it made for one hell of a healthy son.

It was a fun party, and the beer made me miss my party days in GA with Justin. He had some wonderful friends.

Guh, this was supposed to be a decent update. It's just kind of bogging me down. I'm tired. The apartment is in stinky shambles and Steve's dad keeps leaving the front door open despite Steve telling him multiple times that the cold, while nice for him, is deadly for the iguana.

I cleaned and scrubbed the bathroom until my back hurt. I told Steve if the bathroom and kitchen weren't clean by november I was going back to my mom and dad's. I cleaned the bathroom of his dad's mess and Steve cleaned one side of the kitchen sink so I can wash Dexter's bottles, and his dad has done nothing. I haven't done anything either. There's no room at my mom and dad's and I don't really have anywhere else to go, or enough will to I suppose. Steve is wonderful and I really don't want to leave him, but I hate cleaning up after his dad just so my son can have a bath and clean bottles and not have to worry about getting some raging infection.

my mouth hurts, and I haven't had time to be able to sit and get school done. It's just kind of bumming me out.