Steve and I have been fighting. Well, maybe not fighting. Maybe moreso I'm sad and complaining and he's just not acknowledging we're hitting some speed bumps. His silence is driving me nuts. I told myself when I found out I was pregnant that I'd keep it because I knew I would always be able to be an adult with him, and I'd get the same in return. I told myself that I had to love him, because he's the first guy I've been with who made me less mad the more we discussed our problems.
I've become a shut in, and he works all the time. This makes for a volatile Laurie. I want to get the hell out of the house and do things, but Steve is always worn out after work.
I shouldn't complain. He takes the baby every morning and lets me catch up on sleep. This is especially helpful since I can't seem to get tired unless it's the most inopportune time possible. He really does try when he's not so intimidated by us falling apart that he's stunned into silence.
My baby is getting fussier, and my boyfriend is working, watching sports, or sleeping.
The stroller broke and it sent me into a bit of a spiral of moodiness. Then again, it's not hard to shift me that way lately.
Top all of that with the fact that I haven't been able to focus on MT school, or my friends, or even a TV show. My attention span is locked in on freecell or solitaire. Not much else. My days have become: Feed Baby, Change Baby, Rock/Entertain Baby, and fight insomnia.
I can't believe it's been 6 weeks already and in 6 more weeks it will be the end of the year.
I started re-reading the Oz books by L Frank Baum. I haven't read them since Jr. High and it's been nostalgic and it's helped a bit. For kid books, they're really pretty good.
You like my furry hood? I feel I may be overdressed for the desert
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[image: Cholla Cactus]
11 years ago
3 comments:
Newborns are hell! I love them, really I do. But sleep deprivation is one of the main reasons I only have two kids. If they came to us at about 1-2 years old I might have half a dozen but since they don't and the first year is zombie personified I will stick with what I've got. Things will even out. Speed bumps are it exactly. It feels as if they are so huge and insurmountable because you are sick and tired of all the have to and not enough want to and even work seems like an escape...but then tomorrow, or the next day Bean will do something cute and your eyes will meet over his head and the world will have righted itself and it will be as good as it ever was. I promise.
Julie gives good advice listen to her.
I wonder where she gets it from?
Seriously you and Steve are going through normal things.
Dexter is your first baby also what is referred to as the learning baby.If he gets fussy and you know he is not hungry or wet let him fuss.It won't hurt him and he will excercise his lungs.
Get back to your schoolwork.
Tell yourself an hour in the books and a half hour for freecell or solitaire.It will all work out for you.
xo
I think I just finished this book.
But don't worry...everybody lived happily ever after.
Besides...there's one Main Character who needs all the attention and all that matters is that he lives happily ever after.
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