sounded so much better while half asleep but starving. I've noticed myself being achy and tired more. It's bad, but it's reassuring. The hormones are still being created, which means the bean is still planning on taking over my life, body first. I asked Steve if he was excited about it today and he kind of hemmed and hawed. Then he said he can't get excited until everything is 100%. He said he realizes how easy it is for me to get excited, as I have the bean living off of me and all. The thing that got to me was him saying it's easier to lose something when he doesn't acknowledge it first. I'm not excited yet either. I'm getting there. I have names picked out, a baby room theme picked out, and I'm just waiting for the government to get their heads out of their asses and send me my damn gateway to OB/GYNs.
There will be liz calling soon. There will be aforementioned clinics and ultrasounds. There will be calling (again) and my berating the people who answer the phones and my questions as to why I don't have a medical card yet.
But that's all things I need to not stress myself with now, as I have no way of contacting and making appointments until probably 9am tomorrow.
Today a friend emailed me with info on getting into medical transcription or something like that. The school takes only a couple months and it costs about $1800 but I'd get to work from home, so no need for a babysitter. Plus, after awhile I'd be making $14 or $15 an hour. The person my friend got the info from has a baby and she makes decent money, so I'm sure I could do that, especially because I would have steve to help until about 1pm or 2, depending on when he needs to sleep.
It's still weird to see him as someone's dad. It doesn't strike me as a bad idea. I'd have done away with the bean long ago if that was the case. I just don't see it yet. He's so wonderful with my nephews, but being a dad and being able to play and relate with toddlers and babies are two different worlds. I should know, I'm of the latter and not too sure I'm going to venture well in the former.
Apart from all that, I've been reading Bone, and it's been good. I need to get a hold of a copy of the second book in the preacher series. If only I had money...
You like my furry hood? I feel I may be overdressed for the desert
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[image: Cholla Cactus]
11 years ago
3 comments:
I feel the same as Steve. And you're right; it's hard for hte "dad" to get excited becasue we can't feel all the things that are going on inside you and we can get jealous about. So be careful and take it easy on Steve.
By the way...Leah has all the Preacher books. Ha!
ITS NOT THAT HE'S NOT EXCITED, HE'S TERRIFIED
Shock generally kicks in and you stay that way until Bean starts to move around. Then the awe sets in and you can start to get excited. Guys generally don't until the baby is able to sit up and/or move around. All these things are normal. You just have the extra edge of fear because of what happened last time. Don't let it so overshadow this time that you don't enjoy any of it, ok?
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