The broken situations that leave no resort must give way to play and sport.

Dexter went to the doctor today. Other than the usual "he looks great!" he got shots. Last time he was fine. If it weren't for the Tazmanian Devil band-aids you'd never tell he had them. This time he was a handful, literally. He is 18lbs now. He's 26 inches long. He didn't want to be put down. He was warm all day. He was not feeling good and not caring who knew it. He screamed for the better part of an hour tonight.

I haven't really had a need to sing my son to sleep in some time. We have our little routine down and I rock him and he's out. I could not get him completely asleep today. After an hour of him falling asleep and then yelling at me when I laid him down I was at my wits' end. I finally just started singing. It took 2 rounds of "Strawberry Fields Forever", "Ground Control to Major Tom", "Me and Bobby McGee", and "The Man Who Sold the World" to get him to sleep. Turns out my son likes David Bowie when he's feeling blue and there's nothing I can do.

It sure felt good to have Steve pass a screaming baby over to me and be able to calm him just by singing to him. I don't have the best voice, but I guess it's alright when singing David Bowie songs.

We're moving more stuff tomorrow if the little guy cooperates. He seems to be feeling better. Here's hoping he gets a solid 8 hours of tylenol feuled sleep. Poor little bunny. :[

G'bye apartment of doom!

Ok, so we're not out yet. Sorry to mislead you. I got the chance to steal away and get some fresh air when I took out the garbage and I finally remembered to take my camera with to get a couple shots of the tree by the dumpster. It felt so good to be taking pictures again. It's been forever since I've been able to go around and just take picture after picture after picture.

As a result, you guys get a nice little view of the place we're living at now. Not too shabby when you take out the crap factor of Worst Roommate Ever. Here goes, lemme know if I'm as rusty as I think I am after not being able to be a photographer for awhile.

2nd Anniversary Boogie

Yeah, he forgot. He always does. When I brought this up he said "if it was yesterday I would've remembered!"

Sometimes I feel like the Good Boyfriend Academy. All the ones I've broken up with have gone on, heeding my advice, and been wonderful men to their ladies.

In other news, we moved a chunk of our stuff to Steve's Mom's yesterday. It made me feel so much better! When we got back, his Dad was firing up the vacuum and said "You better put him in the bedroom I'm starting this" Somehow, I would think it would be better if he cleaned (vacuumed) the dried cat vomit on the rug upstairs. He has it in his head he shouldn't vacuum it up while the baby is around. I just replied as I walked down the stairs "It can't be any more harmful than you smoking in the same room as him" and he didn't have anything to say to that. He does NOT get to feign interest in my son's lungs' health when it means he doesn't have to get up off his butt to clean.

Anyways, onto the funny: Before he starts up the vacuum, we hear him start up some music on his computer. Then, after the song is over, it plays again. I realize he's got this song on a loop:


Steve and I just kind of give each other a look, and we go about our business, rounding up things and getting settled for a nice long rest after lugging most of our stuff by ourselves. I noticed the amount of bottles were wearing down so I rounded up the dirty ones and went to go wash them. (All this time Cats in the Cradle is repeating). I get upstairs and Steve's dad has headphones on and is watching TV. (This way he can hear his TV without having it loud enough to make us deaf downstairs)

So, he has his computer playing that damn song, LOUDLY, on repeat, just for Steve. I told Steve that his Dad is watching TV, not even listening to the computer, and Steve just laughed at his Dad's attempt at a guilt trip. Or maybe it's some screwed up apology? I don't know what to think. I do know that he saw us lugging boxes out of the apartment, and probably thought "Oh No. Shit just got real." His son is leaving on bad terms and his grandson is going with him.

What really sucks is I had no qualms about that song until now. It's going to henceforth be known as the "Steve's Dad's Guilt Trip" song.

It also kind of makes me giggle. It's like he expects Steve to run up there, crying, saying everything's ok.

A sidenote: Steve and I were damn near destitute when we were covering the bills and the rent. The bills got paid though. Steve's dad has enough to cover rent and everything and have some left over, and he has repeatedly let the cable bill get so overdue they've shut it off. :[

We had to pay the $200 bill this time. I've never said the serenity prayer so much to myself in my life.

Insomnia! Not just for Stephen King anymore!

It kind of bugs me that I look at my kid and can only feel bad. I hate that we're in this crappy situation and that his dad and I weren't more settled when he came along.

I wasted so much time and money on Steve's dad, and that's only a third of what Steve wasted on him. Then the guy has the effing nuts to tell Steve "I didn't ask you to come here." (even though he did, and begged Steve to stay when the lease was up.)

Tomorrow we're taking some things over to Steve's Mom's and I'll have more room to move and pack and I should be feeling better but I just can't, and I still can't sleep.

That being said, I do love my son and I am really blessed and don't really have anything to complain about besides menial stuff. Doesn't make the constant rush of menial stuff any easier to sift through and try to forget about.

C.S.Lewis Be Damned!!!

I just finished reading the last book of the Narnia series, aptly titled The Last Battle. This is the second, maybe third time I've reread all of the books. The last time I finished The Last Battle I told myself I didn't need to read it again. It'd just depress me.

I did, and it did. I haven't been sleeping so well lately anyways. I think it might have to do with the stress of moving and my wrist thing and being the only one of the three of us who can get anything done. It doesn't help that I can only get things done in the rare and random spans of 20 minutes that Dex decides is a decent amount of sleep.

I need someone to watch him for a good 8 hours or so. Then I can just get a big chunk of it packed and over to Steve's moms and then the rest will be easier to maneuver in the space left from whatever we take over there/get rid of.

I bit my tongue and it still hurts. I swallowed food that was warm on my tongue and burned my esophagus on saturday. It still hurts, but not as much as it had been. I just want to be done with school. Wait, scratch that. I want to have time to work on school. I want to be moving into our own house that Steve and I paid for. I want Steve's dad to stop being an ass and saying things like he doesn't want to sweep up the dried cat vomit on the rug upstairs because the baby is here (I don't know, I didn't catch the entire sentence, but knowing him that's all that he said) and feign some sort of interest in Dex's health when other folks are around and then smoke like a g-d chimney around the kid when told us he didn't want to smoke around him.

Arg. Stop me next time I get stuck on that worthless piece of trash. I don't want to waste anyone's time and let him ruin anyone else's day.

I need some good news. I need to be visiting with people. I need to call Johan back, and call Kori and get out of this stupid funk.

He's started blowing raspberries!

I don't know how many of you read my other blog. (Well, read is the wrong term. it's mainly just pictures)

You should, because I post fun stuff and it's easy to flip through and full of cute babies!

Here's a taste, sorry for the crap quality. It was taken on my cell phone.

[insert Everclear lyrics here]

I meant to do it on New Years Day, I promised myself I would go through and relive it and keep his memory alive. It's a couple weeks later, but I still did it. I reread my older blogs on blogspot, and I was surprised by a new comment left on the one I wrote when Erik hung himself.

It's the 3rd comment, and it was left right before the new year. I don't even know how the guy found the blog. Maybe he searched his cousin's name. Who knows.

It says the loss of his battle with suicide was mainly the fault of the loss of his battle with heroin. I am probably just naive and dumb, but I never even imagined he'd be into that kind of crap. Heroin just freaking scares me. No question. Hell, when I first met Steve and he was telling me the tales of his youth and how dumb he was with sex and drugs even HE said he wouldn't touch heroin.

One could bring up culling of the herd. One could quote Darwin. Whatever. Erik was a nice guy dragged down a bad spiral and I miss him. I miss a lot about Stones, but I miss the weirdo, Dammit.

Anyways, I think my wrist pain is De Quervain's Tenosynovitis.

I still have no idea what's up with my back/hip. It hurts when I bend and when I sit. It's fine when I stand. WTF kind of back pain is that? If I sit with my legs crossed and touch my chin to my chest it's all kinds of searing pain. :(

It's making the move awful hard.