April's fool.

Yesterday my mom told me that Jon had posted a bulletin on myspace. It somehow stated that he and his wife were having a baby. It almost ruined my entire day. Seriously. It seemed like I was finally happy with someone, and he gets married. Then, I'm having a kid and he's married and having a kid and all the friends I once shared are rooting for him and not even acknowledging I'm due besides a weighted congratulations.

Then I find out today it's all an april fool's joke.

I could care less if I was made out to be an april fool, I just care that he lied about her being pregnant. It's distantly akin to lying about someone dying, or someone being sick. My feelings may be drastic, and I'm fully aware they A) wouldn't be there if this was the one I lost back in october, and B) will probably change once I see this Bean on a grainy black and white picture.

I'm also angry it got to me that bad. I want him out of my life like he has so eloquently put me out of his. I can't even leave comments on his livejournal. He deletes them. I can bet you a dollar he didn't respond to the myspace message I left him. He never does. Then again, I just told him he could contact my parents about his bike if he didn't want it thrown out.

When things went sour in 05, not a single one of them asked me what happened. Not a one. They just holed up with him and believed every thing he said, so it really looked like I just up and left him. They all ostracized me without getting my opinion on it. Just trusting a guy who stayed at my parent's house after we broke up, and the guy who would wake me up by having his hand down my pants, and then guilt me into having sex with him. I couldn't even sleep in the top bunk bed without a 5 hour long discussion about why I didn't want to be by him.

I miss my friends. I miss so many parts of that life. I miss being able to vent to Kori without her saying "sorry I brought it up." I want to just cut ties, and never think of them again at all, but I'm still friends with Joe and Alex, and I'm still close with Kori and I still want to be close to Mike. They, unfortunately, are still connected. In some way I'm always going to be.