The sun will be shining and my children will burn.

Anyone ever really listen to that Future's So Bright Song??? It makes me laugh to hear it in movies where some guy is trying to show how cool he is.

Makes me realize that once you're not a teenager, movies that were aimed at them will only make you wince, and sometimes laugh. It doesn't matter what decade it was made in.

I'm waiting for a medical card, so I can call and make appointments for someone to go digging around inside me looking at my uterus bean. I don't know if I'll like my sister's doctor. He comes highly recommended. There's also the very important factor of Lucky Dog being right by the hospital he's based in. That's almost making my decision right now. I also think it'd be easier for Steve to start liking this idea if he's rewarded with luscious homemade shakes and hot dogs every time I go get poked and prodded.

I'm very very nervous. Very very.

I've been listening to a LOT of Regina Spektor lately. She calms me down. At least, the album Maryann Meets the Gravediggers does. My only problem is I think it has the exact opposite effect on my dear sweet Steve. He lets me listen, and I love him for it. I try not to force too much on him.

I'm going to be 24 on friday. It's making me so depressed. I think a lot of that has to do with me never seeing my friends anymore because their wonderful, successful lives are keeping them from me. I think of this a lot as I'm shoveling popcorn for the willing masses who flock to see such wonders as "Step Up 2" and all those Vegetable movies. I really need to not tell the high schoolers that are my supervisors how old I am.

I feel like I'm failing somehow and I really don't want anyone to know about the bean for fear of them looking badly at my parents. They tried so hard, and they work their asses off, and I really just don't need one more thing baring down on them.

Ok, good news, or I'll feel bad all night.

Once the bean is a definitive addition, Steve will tell his family, and it might mean all sorts of help with a new car. Then his dad can deal with the van. I really want to move back home, but there's no room at the inn. This makes me sad all over again.